Enneagram Sexual Three: The Magnetic Three
Enneagram Threes are achievers—driven, adaptable, and success-oriented. They want to be admired and valued, and they fear being seen as worthless. But the way this drive for success shows up depends on which instinct leads.
The Sexual Three (Sexual 3) has been nicknamed “Charisma,” a term used by Enneagram teacher Beatrice Chestnut in The Complete Enneagram, building on psychiatrist Claudio Naranjo’s foundational work with subtypes. “Charisma” reflects the Sexual 3’s magnetic presence and their drive to win admiration through passion, charm, and intensity.
For accessibility, I’ll also call this subtype “The Magnetic Three.” This phrase highlights how Sexual 3s instinctively use charisma and relational magnetism to secure admiration and success.
In this post, we’ll explore the defining traits of the Sexual Three, how they show up in relationships and work, how they differ from the other Three subtypes, and what growth looks like for them.
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The Sexual Three at a Glance
At their core, Threes long to be seen as valuable and worthy of admiration. They adapt to expectations, presenting themselves in ways that will win approval and success.
The passion of Type Three is self-deceit—not deliberate lying, but forgetting their authentic self in favor of the image they project.
When the Sexual instinct leads, this drive becomes personal, passionate, and magnetic. Sexual 3s thrive on being admired in one-to-one connections, often using charm, intensity, and emotional energy to captivate others.
🔑 Key themes for Sexual 3s include:
Charisma
They draw others in through charm, magnetism, and confidence.Intensity
They want deep admiration and recognition from close relationships.Passion
They pour energy into captivating others with their presence.Relational focus
They measure worth by how strongly others are drawn to them.
In short: Sexual 3s are success-driven like all Threes, but their path to success is paved with magnetism and personal intensity.
Strengths and Challenges of Sexual 3s
The Sexual 3 shines brightly, but also carries relational struggles.
💪 Strengths
Magnetic presence
Their charm and energy captivate others.Passionate ambition
They pursue goals with intensity and enthusiasm.Confidence
They often radiate self-assurance that inspires trust.Inspiring influence
Their charisma motivates others to aim higher.
⚠️ Challenges
Over-reliance on image
They may value charm over authenticity.Relational intensity
Their need for admiration can create pressure in close relationships.Emotional disconnection
Despite charisma, they may hide vulnerability behind performance.Fear of rejection
They may overwork or overperform to avoid feeling unworthy.
Sexual 3s appear magnetic and confident, but underneath, they may fear that if the charm slips, their worth will vanish.
Sexual 3s in Relationships and Work
How does this subtype show up in daily life? Let’s look at relationships and work together, since the themes overlap.
❤️ In Relationships
Sexual 3s bring passion, intensity, and charm into relationships. They want to be admired by their partner and often work hard to present themselves as captivating and desirable.
But their intensity can become overwhelming. They may equate admiration with love, pressuring their partner to validate them. Their challenge is to open up authentically, allowing vulnerability rather than relying on performance.
Healthy relationships for Sexual 3s come when they realize they are lovable not because they dazzle, but because they show up as their full, real selves.
💼 At Work
In professional settings, Sexual 3s thrive in roles that require charisma, visibility, and influence. They excel in sales, leadership, speaking, or any environment where presence matters.
However, their reliance on charm can backfire if it’s not grounded in authenticity. Colleagues may admire them, but question the depth of their sincerity. Their growth at work is to balance charisma with genuine self-expression.
How Sexual 3s Differ from Other Type Three Subtypes
Each Three subtype pursues success differently:
Sexual 3 vs. Self-Preservation 3:
Self-Preservation 3s seek security and independence through hard work and discipline.
Sexual 3s seek admiration and success through charisma and relational magnetism.
Self-Preservation 3s are steady and pragmatic; Sexual 3s are bold and magnetic.
Sexual 3 vs. Social 3:
Social 3s seek prestige and recognition in groups and communities.
Sexual 3s seek admiration in one-to-one dynamics, often through intensity and passion.
Social 3s are polished professionals; Sexual 3s are dynamic performers.
This helps explain why some Threes are grounded workhorses, others are status-conscious leaders, and others are magnetic charmers.
The Growth Path for Sexual 3s
For the Sexual Three, growth means moving from performance to authenticity.
Key growth practices include:
Practice vulnerability:
Share your real feelings, even if they’re messy.Redefine success:
Focus less on admiration and more on alignment with your values.Soften intensity:
Allow relationships to breathe instead of demanding constant admiration.Connect with authenticity:
Remember that real magnetism comes from being fully yourself, not from performance.
When Sexual 3s embrace authenticity, their charisma becomes even more powerful—rooted in truth, not just image.
Final Thoughts
The Sexual Three—Charisma, or the Magnetic Three—is bold, charming, and inspiring. They captivate others with their presence and passion. Yet their growth lies in softening the need for admiration, embracing vulnerability, and remembering that true worth comes from authenticity, not performance.
If you resonate with this subtype, you might ask yourself:
“Am I relying on charm to feel worthy—or am I allowing myself to be seen as I really am?”
Want to explore all 27 Enneagram subtypes and see how they shape behavior, relationships, and growth?
👉 Download my free Enneagram Subtypes Guide here.
